Sometimes "Help me!" is really "help me keep doing what I'm doing, even though it's really not working for me anymore." (I guess that would be classified as enabling, if you buy into that one).
Sometimes "Help me!" is "help me keep doing what I'm doing, because it's about to work, but I've run out of time/resources." I guess to do that would actually be helping.
Sometimes "Help me!" is "I don't want to have to do anything to make a change or come up with an answer -- plus if you do it all I can blame you if I don't like it or it doesn't work out."
And sometimes it's "I don't know what to do to make a change, please show me."
I know I'm painting with a pretty broad brush here -- it's just struck me lately how sometimes the best way I can help someone -- as a friend, family member or sponsor -- is to stop and consider which of the above might be going on.
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