Denial has been defined as “a false system of beliefs that are not based on reality” and “a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth.” My personal definition is that it is that distorted view of reality. Or it is the "pink elephant" in the room that no one actually faces or talks about. Do some of these examples sound familiar?
· “Can’t we stop talking about it? Talking only makes it worse.”
· “If we don’t talk about it, it will go away.”
· “Honey, let’s pretend that it didn’t really happen.”
· “If I tell her that it hurts me when she says that, I’m afraid she will leave me.”
· “He really doesn’t drink that much.”
· “It really doesn’t hurt when he does that; I’m fine!”
· “He drinks more than I do.”
· “She has been married three times; I’ve only been married twice.”
· “I eat because you make me so mad!”
· “If you didn’t nag me all the time, I wouldn’t …”
· “I'm not rude, I just tell it like it is"What are some practical ways to help step out of our denial?
1. Pray - Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." We need to start with asking God to search us and reveal to us the areas in our lives that we are stuck in denial. When we ask with an open heart and mind, God will answer.
2. Listen - Proverbs 15:31 "Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise." Of course once we pray and ask God, we need to listen to Him. But there are also other people in our lives who love and because of that we need to listen to them when they bring up areas in our lives that need work. If more than one person brings an area up, we probably have a problem with that area.
3. Change - James 1:22 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." I know that sounds trite. However, once we know an area to work on we start by just taking that first step. For many of us, this will be a process, but we just take it one step...one small change at a time. That might mean we need to stop some behavior or though. It might mean we need to look at who and where we hang out and make a change. It might mean we need to let go of trying to control things.
Once we know what areas to work on, we then have no more room for excuses.
Today, take time to search yourself and ask God to show you the areas you are in denial of in your life. Then take one small step. Stop or start behaviors...pick up the phone and call someone who has been there and can help you walk through your recovery.
Alison
Ministry Leader
If you want more information regarding Celebrate Recovery, click on the "Contact Us" for our email.
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