Double Dipping

Borrowed from Rodney Holmstrom our CR National Assimilation Coach and NW Arkansas State Rep:

What is Double Dipping? One of my biggest pet peeves when dining out or with friends in an eating setting is when they dip their chip into the salsa or cheese dip, take a bite, and then dip it back in the dip again. {gag}

I am pretty picky about my food and this really gross' me out. Some people make fun of me at my expense about this issue I have, but I really get grossed out when this happens and will even refrain from eating any more chips if I witness this repulsive act. lol

But that is not the kind of double dipping I am referring to. "Double Dipping" in a CR Open Discussion Group setting is when a particular person shares more than one time in a certain small group setting.

Why is this not allowed in the Open Discussion Groups? What if the group is small? Doesn't it improve the small group to allow multiple sharing?

All great questions! Here are a couple of reasons why we should not allow this in our Open Discussion groups

1. Double Dipping can cause opportunities for people to try to "fix" others after listening to their sharing. Sometimes without even realizing it we think "oh, I know what I can share that will lead "them" down the right path" and so we share and it is all directed toward one person. Now, one can make an argument that people could do that anyway. True, and hopefully our well trained leaders will nip this quickly, but the chances increase when people go a second time.

2. Our small group guideline is "Keep our sharing to 3-5 minutes not "3-5 minutes, 2 or 3 times". There is a reason we have 3-5 minutes on each person's sharing. It teaches us to get our thoughts organized and not ramble. This is an important component in recovery. When we know we have 3-5 minutes we will give it some thought before we speak and speak to the point more precisely.

3. Sharing only one time will allow everyone the opportunity to share that chooses to.
Granted, in some of our small groups there will possibly only be 3-4 people in the group. That is ok. The best thing you can do as a group is shut down the group early and go to Solid Rock and continue your conversation there.

-Some people think it's crazy for us to have a guideline like this or think it is silly to have others like, we cannot hand a tissue to someone else when they are crying. (I thought that was the craziest thing I ever heard when I first came in until I found out "why" we do that. We don't want to interrupt the sharing of anyone. Handing a tissue does just that. Or, to only use I or me statements. Then I learned that when someone says for example, "we all want this..." I know now that I really don't want you or anyone else speaking for me. How do you know what I want or need? :)

The truth is, there are actually very good reasons behind these guidelines and 20 plus years experience that has lead us to use these guidelines. They may seem crazy and not necessary, but the truth is, they actually do work.

One of the things I have said and continue to say in trainings with our great CR leaders is we don't expect everyone to agree with everything we do in CR. The thing we do ask though is that you please respect them. I have to trust those that went before me in this great ministry and know that if the guideline is there, it is there for a good reason and for my safety and recovery.
We want this 3-5 minutes to be yours to share to your liking as long as the guidelines are being upheld.

a. maybe a victory or struggle from this past week
b. Maybe you choose to share from the focus question presented
c. Maybe there is something in the Problem and Solution Sheet that spoke to you
d. Maybe there is something that the Holy Spirit Spoke to your heart about during the teaching or testimony that night.

Bottom line, whatever you want to share on is fine just make sure you do it within your time frame allotted.

So....the next time you go into an open discussion group during your regular meeting night and your leader asks you to not share again, you will know that they are not being mean or picking on you but rather, doing their part in keeping the group safe and productive. This is to ultimately set the table for you to experience God's healing and freedom all in the setting of a safe group.

As always, thank you for honoring these guidelines and for being right where God has you. You are blessing so many by your presence not to mention bringing continued healing to yourself each time you share.

Just like the song says. Greater Things Are Still To Come In This City" Greater things are still to come in this "meeting"...

Have a blessed day

Happy "one" sharing....:)

For any questions about CR, please click on the Contact Us tab at the top of this page.

The Prisoner

Re-posting from Fellowship NWA CR Blog:

The Prisoner


Have you ever been a prisoner?
Have you ever been held captive?
Have you ever been enslaved?
Have you ever wanted freedom so bad you could taste it?


Hi, my name is David, and I’m a prisoner.


I’ve been a prisoner for a long time…living inside these walls made of bars of steel and stone.


There’s a window…it’s small…but it’s a window.
It lets me see the outside…where I could be…where I could have been all along. But…I’m a prisoner. It’s who I am. It’s who I’ll always be.


Oh, yeah, there’s a door. It’s made of those same steel bars.
It hangs there on the hinges. Hard, cold metal. Unforgiving.


And the lock. It can’t be picked. It just can’t be! I’ve tried to get out on my own. It takes that key…that annoying key that for years has rattled in my ears.
All the time I’ve been here…every time that abusive guard stuck it in the lock - and the mechanism would click, I’d get that sense of “freedom”. It was the sound of freedom. I could just taste it – only to be disappointed after an hour of pretend freedom behind the fences of the yard – only to be disappointed as the guard – a tyrant, that guy – would lead me back to my cell and lock the door behind me…laughing and mocking me as he’d walk away.


Ironically, it was a Friday when it all changed. Well, sort of changed. Inmates down the corridor were hollering at the guard…yelling their usual taunts. And they were screaming obscenities at a new guy. You know when a new guy is coming in because of those initial cat calls and insults. It’s painfully routine.


The guard approached my cell door. And, this new guy was with him. I thought…oh, great, a cellmate. No thanks. I’m a loner. I’m o.k. by myself. Stick him in with the guy next door.


But, they just stood there at my cell door…the guard and this guy. This new dude. He was kinda normal looking. Not really a rough and tough looking sort. Nothing that would have naturally drawn you to him. Kinda simple looking actually. A little homely. Intriguing at the same time. I couldn’t quite figure him out.
It was all a bit weird…almost like I knew him or he knew me …or something. Like I was in slow motion…but only a couple of seconds past before the man gave me that most startling message: You’re free. I looked at him with a blank stare, and he said it again...You’re free. I could tell that slave-driver of a guard wasn’t excited about it. But, he handed the keys over to this mystery man who proceeded to unlock the door. Then, he opened it and looked me square in the eye and repeated himself. “You’re free.” "How?” I asked. What happened? I don’t get it.


The guard pointed his thumb to the guy and grumbled, “It’s his doing…definitely not mine. I’d keep you here ‘til you rotted if it was up to me. I’d just as soon see you robbed blind, tortured, and killed…if it was up to me.”


“What do you mean, free?” I asked the stranger.


The guard chimed back in, “You’re free knucklehead. This nut paid your bail, your fines, your penalty…along with everyone else’s in this nuthouse. You can go.”


The simple man – the mystery man – looked at me and smiled. Then the two of them moved on to the next cell…making the same announcement from one cell to the next.


I sat on my bunk in disbelief and just listened as the two of them moved from cell to cell…floor to floor…telling the same story.


I could hear guys yelling…grabbing their stuff and running down the corridors…headed outside. OUTSIDE! Somebody said that the gates to the whole prison were standing wide open outside. I jumped to the window to see if I was in a dream. But…it was true. I could see ‘em running out. “I’m free!” they’d yell. “I’m outta here!”


They didn’t deserve to be outside! I knew I didn’t and I knew there were lots more like me and worse. Free? No way! They don’t deserve it, and I don’t either.
I stuck to my guns that day.


I stayed on that bunk…determined not to move. Determined to be what I was…a prisoner…determined to be who I am…a prisoner. It’s who I am…It’s who I’ll always be. I got myself into this mess and I’ll keep myself in it.


And, I have. I’ve stayed. Yeah, the door is still hanging there on the hinges. And, yeah, it’s still open. It’s been that way for three years now. They still feed me and they gave me a t.v. to keep me occupied. I just live through the people in the little box. It’s a meager existence. I wouldn’t call it a “life.” But I’m used to it. So, I’m not leaving. Freedom can’t be mine. It just can’t be…because I’m a prisoner.


Have you ever felt like this guy? Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." What doorway of freedom has Christ given to you that you have been hesitant to walk through? What is the cage that you are ready to walk out of today?

If you have questions regarding Celebrate Recovery, click on Contact Us tab above for contact information.

"Homerun" Trailer

CELEBRATE RECOVERY MOVIE COMING SPRING 2012
"HOMERUN"

John and Cheryl Baker, CR founders are reading thru the script this past week and filming is set to begin this summer. Exciting stuff!

For more information about Celebrate Recovery, contact Alison at 501-410-3728 or celebraterecovery_nlc@yahoo.com

Progress Not Perfection

From http://www.refineus.org/

"3 Steps Forward 2 Steps Back"

My entire life I’ve heard the phrase “Three steps forward, two steps back.” This phrase is rarely used as a declaration of achievement. Most of the time that I have used it is has been an admission of failure. I have not made as much progress in a particular area of my life that I had hoped…I took three steps forward and two steps back. I have said this phrase ashamed, disappointed and defeated.

I heard someone the other day say this phrase and it caused me to think through the “two steps back” moments of my life. Would I love to always take three steps forward? Absolutely! Would I love to achieve perfection in every area of my life? Yes! But what God has taught me is that life is more about my journey of transformation than my ability to be perfect (or pretend to be perfect).

Here are a few things “two steps back” has provided:

• Perspective: there are times that I only appreciate the three steps I have taken forward after I realize I’ve taken two steps back. I am often so consumed by moving forward it isn’t until I fail that I stop and see how far God has brought me.
• Humility: why is it that success can cause me to think how great I am but failure can cause me to realize how great God is? There are times that my two steps back in life, marriage, parenting or ministry has allowed me to realize that there is a God, and I am not Him.
• My Need for Grace: I grew up thinking grace was an event. The receiving of God’s grace was what occurred at the moment of salvation. What I’ve realized in the two steps back moments in life is that I need God’s grace every single day. It is what not only saves me, but sustains me.
• Determination to Take 3 More Steps: I want the failures in my life not to define me but to help me. I want to learn and grow and become more of the person God has created me to be, and often that comes through failure. Taking two steps back allows me to see how important taking three more steps forward will be. It provides me fuel to continue on the journey to become more like Christ.

God isn’t interested in you being perfect. He wants you to be teachable.  He wants to transform you. Often that process of transformation looks like “three steps forward, then two steps back.” Don’t be discouraged. Be determined. Learn the things God has for you in the two steps so you can take three more steps.

Remember three minus two is still progress.

If you have any questions regarding Celebrate Recovery, please click on the Contact Us link above for our contact information.

Being Still in the Storms

When Maizy, my chihuahua mix, is afraid or over-anxious and I go to her, she wiggles and pants and licks and demands that I pet her, hold her, or more. 

Tonight, during the storm, she was quiet and not whining when I let her out, but she immediately got that glazed look and frantically panted and wiggled and scratched my legs to get up.  I put my hands on her chest and back with deep pressure and said “Be still”.  

Immediately I thought of the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God” and had instant realization that many times when I go to God I am all panicky and insistent, thinking that I know what I need and why doesn’t He just do it now.  

I see that when Maizy is all excited and frantic she is not even taking advantage of my presence. 

When she becomes still, she can feel me beside her and be calm and rest in the fact that she knows I am there.  

It is the same thing for me and God.  If I get all panicky and worried, or insistent, I don’t realize the fullness of His presence, but if I really do be STILL in my spirit, then knowing that He is God is all the comfort I need to rest my soul during the storms of life. 

Missy - NLC-Heber Springs CR Ministry Leader

If you have any questions regarding Celebrate Recovery, please click on the Contact Us link above for our contact information.

Shocked by My Own Advice

By Lysa TerKeurst (Proverbs 31 Ministries)

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate
and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and
many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Matthew 7:13-14 (NIV)

The choice is mine. If I want to be a sold out somebody for God, I have to break away from the everybody crowd.

Today’s key verses are not easy for a girl who wanted nothing more growing up than to fit in. Don’t cause waves. Don’t stand out. Don’t stand up. Don’t rock the boat of norm in anyway. Just go with the flow in the same direction as everyone else.

But somewhere along my Christian journey, going with the flow started to bother me.

Verses like the one above in Matthew 7 and Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” started to mess with my status quo existence.

Conformed or transformed? The choice is mine. If I want to be a sold out somebody for God, I have to break away from the everybody crowd.

This is a message I shared with my son one day when he came to me scared. He admitted things had gone a little too far with his girlfriend and wanted help processing what to do. They hadn’t crossed every line but enough that he knew they were headed in a dangerous direction.

We sat on the back deck and processed the situation together. We read a list of empowering Scripture verses seeking to filter every part of this situation through God’s truth. In the end, he and his girlfriend came to the realization they needed to break up. It’s really hard to put things in reverse after certain lines have been crossed.

I walked back into the house after that conversation with two things running through my brain. I was thrilled my son came to me to talk about such a sensitive issue. What an honor to breathe Truth into his physical struggle.

But, I was also feeling a little panicked at the realities of parenting older teenagers. And that feeling led me straight to the pantry, convinced I needed some chocolate. I deserved some chips! As I loaded my arms full of treats, I was suddenly struck by a gut wrenching question. How can I expect my son to apply
Truth to his area of physical struggle but refuse to apply it to my area of physical struggle?

Ouch. I was shocked by my own advice.

If I wanted to model what it looks like to live out truth in my physical struggles, I would have to break up with unhealthy choices. God made me to consume food, but food was never supposed to consume me.

Making healthy choices with my food would have to be part of my breaking away. I would have to distance myself from my distraction if I wanted to become truly transformed.

What’s your distraction? What’s the one way you can start to break away from the everybody crowd?
The everybody crowd says, “if it feels good it is good.” The everybody crowd says, “don’t deny yourself… that’s so old school.” The everybody crowd says, “everybody’s living it up – so should you.”

Conformed or transformed? The choice is ours. If we want to be a sold out somebody for God, we have to break away from the everybody crowd.

Dear Lord, I want and need to live apart from the everybody crowd. Free me of my distractions. Remove my insecurities. Help me to follow You with my whole heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Application Steps:
The choice is ours. If we want to be a sold out somebody for God, we have to break away from the everybody crowd. Look at your life and honestly determine if there is any area where you need to break away from the crowd.

Reflections:
Am I living as conformed or transformed?

Do I have any distractions right now that are keeping me from being a sold out somebody for God?
What is one way I can start to break away from the everybody crowd?

Power Verses:
Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (NIV)

1 Peter 5:8, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (NIV)

If you have any questions regarding Celebrate Recovery, click on the Contact Us link at the top of the page.

Withheld Truth

"Withheld Truth" by Justin Davis @ http://www.refineus.org/

Why is it so easy to hide? Why is it so easy to only share part of the truth?

This past week, I had the opportunity to continue our 5 Things Series, you can watch/listen to the entire message HERE. In the message I talked about  3 people to whom we have to speak truth:

1. Tell the truth to yourself.
The greatest of all deception is self-deception.
Writer Mike Novak says: “Our capacity for self-deception has no known limits.” The prophet Obadiah in the Old Testament says it like this: “The pride of your heart has deceived you.”
For years, I deceived myself about my insecurities; about my pride; about my addictions and lust issues. I deceived myself to believe I was closer to God than I really was. When I believe the lies I tell myself, I am in a very dangerous place. We don’t have the capacity to speak to truth to anyone if we lie to ourselves.

2. Tell Your Spouse the Truth.
God has created us to know and to be known. I counsel with husband and wife all the time. I will say something like, “Have you told your wife that?” “Have you shared that with your husband?” Most of the time their response is “Are you crazy? I could never tell my husband that.” “My wife could never know that about me.” Withholding truth breaks intimacy. So my question to you today is…Is there something that you hope your spouse never knows about you? If the answer to that question is “yes” you have limited your capacity to experience intimacy in your marriage.

3. Tell God the Truth.
Neal Plantinga writes this: I go hours, days, weeks at a time never really thinking about Him; never really turning my heart and will over to Him; never seriously attend to Him; never bring Him sustained focus.  The thought that I am entangled more and more in the sin that brought Jesus to the cross, that thought becomes bearable and then routine. Eventually, I find God doesn’t seem very real. I find myself not praying all that much.  The less I pray, the less real God seems. I forget God. I forget sin.

How do we forget to tell God about the struggles we have? What we think is that by not being honest with God we are actually saving ourselves from pain and hurt. We are avoiding pain, in the short term.  But what we forfeit by not being honest with God is the healing of our heart.

Maybe you feel distance in your marriage but it has nothing to do with your marriage…it has to do with this healing that God longs to bring, when you are willing be honest with him and allow him into all parts of your heart.

Who do you have the hardest time telling the WHOLE truth to?

If you have any questions about Celebrate Recovery, click on the Contact Us link above for contact information.